Thursday, August 29, 2013

New Normal

Today was like the last few thousand todays: wasted.  Each second, I’m a little bit older and (a)pathetic.  I hate my job.  So, don’t ask me about it.  I’ve applied to hundreds of other dead end jobs, but I’m always over/under educated, experienced, or paid (never overpaid though).  There’s a million other candidates and they always choose some inept “connected” kid.  So, I grind away making a ton of money for someone else and get insulted in the process.  With no more cash in my pocket, I end up sitting on my secondhand couch watching TV.  Zoning out and not knowing what the hell I’m going to do.

I have a couple of degrees.  Minimally qualified to work in the fields I now loathe.  So, theres a couple of dead dreams.  Not a chance in hell I’d buy another worthless sheepskin.  The only thing I learned was how to launder money from banks to the university gaining personal debt in the process.  So, what can I do that isn’t already automated or outsourced?  The choices seem to be either food service or a doctor.  Everything in between has been destroyed in the race to the bottom.

I’m tired of the same ol’ shit.  And I know the ideals of merit and hard work are bullshit.  Promotions given based on who laughs the loudest at the boss’ lame jokes; not results.  Imbecile enthusiasm! I’m the one that must sacrifice.  It’s my pay that must be slashed so they can get a raise.  It’s my budget that has to be cut to the broken bone for the benefit of those who delegate.  In the meantime, the cost of food, clothes, rent, and transit are always rising in spite of diminishing quality.

At 3am, I walk the quiet streets.  What the hell am I going to do?  I barely make ends meet on my income.  How can I build a foundation for my life on this quicksand?  I imagined that I’d be doing something at this point in my life and I’m not.  And, the frustration of doing everything right at still getting screwed in unbearable.  The backstabbing and evils one considers just to pay survive.  But, right now, all I can do is mass submit my resume and accept the things I can’t change…     

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